Wasting time...

I'm wasting my time, at least that's what I'm thinking. When I'm fixing the old car, so it will pass the yearly inspection. When I'm cutting firewood, when I'm looking at the supermarket leaflets to find the cheapest offers. When I'm painting the house, knowing I'll have to do it again next year. When I'm saving money, knowing it will be spend on some tool that inevitably will break. When I'm scrolling thru the internet, sitting behind a laptop all day. When I'm daydreaming about all the goals I could set, knowing none will come true. When I'm trying to quit smoking, knowing someday I'll die anyway. When I'm trying to eat healthy, knowing I can't afford anything else than the cheapest food. When I'm making some wooden artwork, knowing nobody will buy it. When I'm writing a poem, knowing it won't change the world. I'm wasting time, being depressed, being angry at the people who are killing our planet. I'm wasting time looking at all the alternative blogs, wasting time hearing the manipulated news. My whole life seems to be a chain gang of wasting time.

But wait. I'm just wasting my time. Living in a holiday destination, enjoying the sun. I am, so there is a me. An individual trying to survive in a world full of faraway dangers, lots of assholes, corrupt bankers and politicians, stupid laws and rules, stressful dreams of success, crowded subways, people claiming they are Paris while they've never been there, Nazi slogan shouting racists, extreme religious terrorists, Israelis still claiming to be the chosen ones, greedy companies taking churches to court for putting solar panels on their roof, border closing right-wing liberals defending freedom, millions of camera's following people's moves, smartphone hacking gouvernment agencies, innocent children killing remote controlled bombs, logo making graphic designers after every hurtful event and wannabee Clint Eastwood cops.

I'm wasting time, trying to make some sense of it all. The only real question I have to ask myself is; “Am I going to pay that bill or am I going to buy food?”
“Am I going to help my close by friends and neighbours or am I the one that needs help?”
“Am I going to by medicines for our 18 year old dog or am I going to buy medicines for myself?”
“Am I going to pay for a doctor's advise or will I endure the pain?”

Wasting time doesn't seem much to lose, but it's my time, and one of the few last things I'm able to waste. That put's life in perspective.....